Here’s the good thing about limited readership: it’s liberating. I mean…if no one’s paying attention, who am I going to offend? (Whoever it is, would you please at least make a comment?) Just before I took a week off from blogging, there were 142 page views on April 15, and yesterday I scored a grand total of…wait for it…11. I’m thinking of making this a once-a-year publication and limiting it to Tax Day. I guess in a head-to-head showdown with a 1040 form, I’ve at least got a fighting chance. Ok, that concludes the whining portion of today’s submission.
Those of you who checked in yesterday, all dozen minus one of you (ok, sorry…I’m really done whining now), will have noted my discussion of my ex-blogmate’s proclivity toward profanity, and it got me to thinking. Cory is way more prolific than I am, and I think I may have figured out at least one reason for his productivity. He’s just more pissed off than I am. I do my best writing when I’m in full rant mode (or when I’m mired in sloppy sentimentality, which might be more poetic, but isn’t nearly as entertaining), so I’ve scoured the blogosphere and web for general instances of heinous douchebaggery and foul fuckheadedness, and as you might imagine, there was no lack of either.
First, let’s talk about my new hero (or is it heroine? or is that condescending and insensitive? whatever), Joan Rivers. I’ve loved this woman for as long as I can remember, and I love her more than ever now. Joan says what’s on her mind, is poetically profane, insanely hilarious, and knows no boundaries, age included. Joan has yet again offended the political correctness police with a quick throwaway one-liner delivered on the April 22 “Today Show”. Rivers is like manure these days, showing up on every available talk show to hype her new show on the WE network, “Joan and Melissa: Joan Knows Best“. On the Today Show she compared her accommodations at her daughter’s house thusly: “those women in the basement in Cleveland had more space”. Well, the manufactured outrage machine went into overdrive and various protectors of the public good DEMANDED that Joan apologize, but she impolitely refused. Her response is perfect: “There is nothing to apologize for. I made a joke. That’s what I do. Calm down. Calm fucking down. I’m a comedienne. They’re free, so let’s move on.” I’m with Joan 100% on this. It was a joke. It was funny. She said it and she owned it and enough with the fucking apologies already.
Get a little perspective. If you want to be outraged about something, let’s try the governor and legislature of Georgia or these militia kooks in Nevada. Down there in the Peachtree State, they signed a new law that basically says it’s legal to take a gun anywhere. You can be packing in church, at the park, in school, in the airport lobby, or at your favorite local pub. The theory here, backed by the knuckle-dragging mouth-breathers at the NRA, is that the general public will be safer if, when someone starts shooting in one of these place, ten or twelve patriotic citizens start shooting back. Yep, Berettas in bars and Glocks in groceries…nothing could possibly go wrong with that plan. Oh, and by the way, just to give you an added sense of security, there’s no need to worry, the Georgia law is pretty much already in place right here in Indiana, so feel free to strap your Colt to your hip and head over to Kilroys for the Little 500 festivities, and don’t forget…to “drink responsibly”.
And how about this maniac rancher in Nevada, who up until yesterday was the veritable darling of the Right Wing and FOX News because he and his militia buddies stood up to the evil federal government which was trying to you know…enforce the law. Once Clive Bundy got his platform and the backing of Sean Hannity and Bill O’Reilly and Rush and the rest, he figured he could now expound on the real problems plaguing our great nation:
“I want to tell you one more thing I know about the Negro,” he said. Mr. Bundy recalled driving past a public-housing project in North Las Vegas, “and in front of that government house the door was usually open and the older people and the kids — and there is always at least a half a dozen people sitting on the porch — they didn’t have nothing to do. They didn’t have nothing for their kids to do. They didn’t have nothing for their young girls to do.
“And because they were basically on government subsidy, so now what do they do?” he asked. “They abort their young children, they put their young men in jail, because they never learned how to pick cotton. And I’ve often wondered, are they better off as slaves, picking cotton and having a family life and doing things, or are they better off under government subsidy? They didn’t get no more freedom. They got less freedom.”
Oh, how the Right hates it when one of its stars inadvertently shows the rest of us what’s behind the curtain. That hot high-pressure surging column of racism, xenophobia, homophobia, and chauvinism that is the lifeblood of the GOP. That is something about which to be outraged.
The damned parking meters downtown are another rage-inducing feature, but since mine is about to run out, that’s enough for today.
BW
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