Mike Pence Is A Putz (And Other Things That Piss Me Off)

Welcome to Kibbitz Corner.  For those of you who were deprived of a multicultural upbringing that included the many joys of Yiddish curses, let me enlighten you on the definition of “putz”.  In the first place, when you look it up in the dictionary, I’m pretty sure you’ll find a portrait of Indiana’s governor, followed by:

putz

(n) a stupid, ignorant person; someone who doesn’t pay attention to anything going on; one who makes stupid remarks

See also under: schmuck, schmeckel, and goniff:

goniff

A crook, swindler, or cheat.

Those goniffs at the insurance company wanted to charge me an ADDITIONAL $275 every six months, because I got a job delivering pizzas.

Pence, the self-righteous little prick, a guy so white he puts Wonder-Bread to shame, a dogmatic evangelical Bible-thumping tyrant in a Sears polyester suit with a flag lapel pin big enough to cause back pain, just couldn’t leave well enough alone.  It’s a sure bet he burst a whole cluster of hemorrhoids when a federal judge declared Indiana’s new law against gay marriage unconstitutional on June 25, and he probably nearly gagged on his own vomit when a couple hundred folks formalized their love at various courthouses and Unitarian churches across the Hoosier state on the 26th, but he couldn’t stop foaming at the mouth even when another federal judge issued a stay on any further same-sex unions on June 27th.  No, Pence had to take it a step further and attempt to do something Einstein told us long ago was impossible…Pence decided to go back in time and alter history.  On July 7, the fulminating pustule of a syphilitic prick ordered all of the state bureaucracy to “execute their functions as though the U.S. District Court order of June 25 had not been issued.”  Aside from violating the rules of physics and general relativity (stuff Republicans don’t believe in anyway), Pence has no legal right to tell anyone to ignore any ruling of any court, nor was such an order necessary, since the stay of June 27 effectively put all the same-sex marriages of the previous two days in limbo anyway, but that didn’t stop Pence from taking the first opportunity to pander to his vast constituency of ignorant homophobes, xenophobes, racists, and people whose televisions only receive broadcasts from FOX NEWS.  Oh, and did I mention that Pence’s name has been thrown around as a GOP presidential hopeful in 2016?  Put him on the same ticket with Rick Perry and you get a total IQ that doesn’t broach triple digits.

Ronald Lee Haskell pisses me off, and everyone who says guns don’t kill people, people kill people piss me off.  Haskell is the monster in Texas who tied up a whole family, a mother and a father and five kids, put them facedown on the floor, and shot each one in the back of the head when they wouldn’t tell him where his ex-wife was.  Haskell has a history of violence and is the subject of a restraining order from his ex-wife…and he had as much trouble buying a gun in Texas as I have of buying a gallon of skim milk at Kroger.  It’s not just the guns that are the problem.  It’s the millions of people who believe that the appropriate way to address conflicts is with those guns, whether it’s gangbangers on the South Side of Chicago who resolve minor insults and purely monetary disputes with hails of 9mm slugs or soccer moms in Winnetka who say that if it had been them in that house in Texas, and they’d gotten their trusty Glock out of the nightstand, it’d have been Haskell with a bullet in his brain…and you can just tell that they wish they’d had the chance to prove it.  It’s one sick society in which we live.

One more person on my list.  The woman in that white sedan ahead of me the other day.  We came to one intersection with a red light and when the light turned green, the sedan didn’t move.  Since I’m trying to work on my patience as part of my post-retirement self-improvement campaign (with only limited success), I calmly waited and didn’t even touch my horn.  After five or six seconds, the car finally proceeded, only to be stopped a block later at another red light.  The light changed, and again, the sedan remained motionless.  The voice in my head was shouting, “Serenity now!” and I managed to restrain myself for another few seconds, but finally gave the horn a short burst, whereupon the suspect vehicle slowly crept forward.  At the next intersection the white sedan pulled into the left turn lane as I went straight, and I had the opportunity to pull alongside and look through the window…to see the twenty-something woman intently looking at her cell phone as she blithely texted away.  Stop it, people, just stop it.  You are not as good a driver as you think you are.  You are also not as important as you think you are, which is to say that your time is not so valuable that you can’t finish one important task…like paying attention to the fucking road while you are steering a ton of lethal killing steel…before you take another moment to inform your BFF that you’ll be a few minutes late because there was a line at the nail salon.

Have a good weekend…and keep your eyes on the road.

BW

P.S. I don’t know why the paragraph breaks in this piece are not showing up.  Two attempts to correct the appearance failed.  You know about me and computers.  I’m sure I’m somehow clicking wrong.